Following His Direction

Did your father see the beauty in you?

May 14, 2016

My Father sees the beauty in me….

When you read this today, my brother and I will meet our siblings for the first time. The adult children of the two families our father created after leaving our little family of three. From three states, they will interrupt their lives to fly to Seattle, to close the circle and fill in the father-gap. The son he left as an infant and the daughters our father stayed with…until the teen years. Sweet, conclusive closure, for them and for us. God longs for relationships to be restored.

Tony and I didn’t know we had siblings, much less how to find them. In 2011, I did a one-time search on, using our father’s name. A relative in Norway was using Ancestry to document our family tree. Eric sent an e-mail to the Ness sisters and asked, “What about Nancy?” I didn’t get the e-mails he sent at that time. God’s timing is perfect, his beneficent plan is purposeful and specific for me.

In October 2015, my brother sent a text message to me, “Look at your Facebook page.” I saw a direct message from Courtney who asked, “Did you search in 2011 for Kenneth Owen Ness?” I followed a link to Courtney’s Facebook page and saw through tear-filled eyes, my mother, brother and grandparents looking back at me. I knew from the photo she posted on her Facebook page we were about to find answers to the questions left unspoken so long ago.

Have you felt the sting of a father who never saw the beauty in you?  Were you that four-year-old who needed him to look into your blue eyes and say, “I love you, it’s going to be okay”?

It’s not too late for me and it’s not too late for you.

God is ordering the steps of my life in a specific, God-filled way. [Tweet that!]

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.  Jeremiah 33:3 NIV

I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

God’s plan, like the unfolding of a cabbage rose, reveals the center of his safe healing. [Tweet that!

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  • Reply Sharon O May 14, 2016 at 9:45 am

    This is so powerful. I am glad you are healing this part of your story. My dad left when I was four and I was always the little girl who wondered, where was he, what did he look like, was he happy without us? He did return in my life in his later years and we healed as much as we could, not close ‘intense healing’ but in peace. Then he passed away knowing it was all ok, he had remarried our mom and they ‘were happy in their old age’.

    • Reply Nancy May 15, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      Sharon, thank you so much for your comment. It means so much to hear that the words I wrote spoke to your heart. I’m glad your story has a happy ending. God is working to put the pieces together in my life, for a happy ending. Come back and visit again!

  • Reply wrightgayl May 16, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    Wow, Nancy! Meeting siblings you didn’t know you had… I hope it is a blessed time for all, and that you do get answers. Thank you for sharing. Blessings to you! <3

    • Reply Nancy May 16, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      Gayl: I felt God’s hand on my heart healing the past pain and bringing us together despite what our parents did or didn’t do. God whispered “You are loved.” I learned that even though our father left us he was a good dad to our half-sisters. Thanks for visiting!

  • Reply Plaidfuzz May 16, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    What an amazing story! I am a twin, and was the product of a brief relationship. My biological father never met us or wanted anything to do with us. He went on to get married and have two children, who found out about my twin and I when they became adults. My biological half sister wanted to meet us, so we did about 10 years ago. We kept in touch for a little while, but have since fallen out of touch. So thankful for a heavenly father who supplies all that we need when earthly fathers fail us.

    • Reply Nancy May 16, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      Hi! Thanks for sharing your story – doesn’t God just know all of our needs? He amazes me over and over again. I’m so glad you were able to experience that meeting.

  • Reply Karrilee Aggett May 16, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    Wow… what a gift! And I love that you used my favorite verse (Jer33:3)! Praying that your connecting went well! I just kept hearing “You’re a Good Good Father… It’s Who You Are!” So thankful for that truth… that no matter what, we really DO have a good good father in heaven who adores us! Blessings, Nancy!

    • Reply Nancy May 17, 2016 at 5:47 pm

      Karrilee – Yes, He is a good, good, father. My perspective of God has come full circle. I feel his love, deep in my heart today. Blessings right back at ya! Nancy

  • Reply wordzmith July 26, 2016 at 1:54 am

    Lovely, Nancy.

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